A couple years ago I was chatting with a friend, telling her about the challenges and joys of my experiences living in different countries and cultures. After a few minutes, her expression turned to one of awe and admiration and she said, “Wow! I wish I could travel like you do. I couldn’t handle it.”This got me thinking about why I can travel and why others feel they can’t. Sure, in some cases it is lack of time and money. But not always. I isolated the cases that were not about those constraints and ran them back and forth in my mind from every possible angle. Was it that they never tried to travel and just assume they can’t handle it? Sometimes, but again, not always. I remained with a handful of cases where an Aspie has traveled one or more times, knows they would love to be able to travel more, but simply feels it will be too overwhelming.
Now, as someone who dreads leaving the house for things as simple as grocery shopping or coffee with a friend, I can relate to these feelings. When I’m not traveling, I am comfortable leaving the house a few times a week for a few hours at a time. I am not special or a superwoman, so I still couldn’t quite put my finger on why I could manage to travel to 17 countries on 6 continents while fellow Aspies were terrified at the very idea.
Then one day it hit me.
I don’t travel like a neurotypical. I travel like an Aspie!
The problem I found is that neurotypical travel often doesn’t work for Aspies, so Aspies think travel is an unattainable goal. The media and travel blogs tell us that travel has to be exciting, nonstop action, going to dance clubs and staying in hostel dorm rooms to meet other travelers. But it doesn’t have to be all of those things. You can find your own travel style and it can be whatever you want it to be.
Travel can be enjoyable for Aspies!
My first experience abroad was in Russia. I quickly realized that I had almost no control over what was happening, which made me unbearably anxious. The only thing that kept me calm enough to avoid a meltdown was the vodka and strong Russian beer. I expected to endure this heightened anxiety for the entire trip. Then on day 2 something inexplicable happened.
I was having dinner with fellow students on the patio of a nice restaurant, watching the sun dip lower and lower on the horizon. Suddenly a calm feeling came over me and filled my entire body. I realized that it didn’t matter that I couldn’t control everything. I could accept the times when things were out of my control, let life happen, and enjoy my time in Russia. I knew if I didn’t, I would have a miserable experience.
Of course, I experienced intense anxiety and the occasional meltdown during those few months, but I enjoyed it enough to know that I wanted to travel more. A lot more!
After that trip I did a home stay with a Russian family, took a ship across the Drake Passage to Antarctica, and lived for two years in a remote village in Uganda. During all of these trips, there were moments of intense panic, anxiety, nausea, and the occasional meltdown. But I would do it all again. Travel made me a stronger person, a more open and accepting person, and it has changed my world view in ways that were unimaginable.
So how can you make travel work for you? I learned by trial and error, but you have access to what I’ve learned along the way. Here are some primary factors to consider.
Where will you go?
Go somewhere relaxing and not overwhelming, especially if you are a first time traveler. Go slow! You don’t have to do nonstop site seeing and you can take whole days off if you want. I do! I never do any activities the day of my flight. I take that day to get settled in and rested up from the flight. And I often take a half or whole day off to stay inside and read if I am traveling for more than four days.
Study maps ahead of time. If you have a day of activities planned and you study your route in detail the night before, you can identify “safe places” along your route. Many cities have parks and nature areas in the midst of the urban chaos that you can take advantage of to prevent or recover from a meltdown.
Time and Money
We all have constraints on how we can travel. I have a lot of time and not much money because I work for myself, so I travel on a budget. You might have a good full-time job and have little time and more money. We won’t cover budgeting in this article, but just know that you shouldn’t sacrifice personal comfort due to these constraints.
For example, if you have a lot of time and not much money, think twice before you decide to spend two weeks in a hostel dorm room. You may be better off spending three days in a nice hotel or a week in a budget hotel.
Transportation
You don’t have to fly or drive when you travel if you don’t want to. Trains are a very relaxing option and are available in most countries around the world and you can travel anywhere in the world by ship. There are cruises that take you across oceans and you can book a room on a freight ship, too.
Road trips allow you to go at your own pace if you do like to drive. I don’t like to drive, but still enjoy the occasional road trip to small and medium sized cities. You can take country roads when possible and stop when you feel like it, without feeling rushed. When you get to your destination, you don’t have to worry about getting around on public transportation.
Lodging and Accommodation
There are countless websites for booking the right hotel, like booking.com, Trivago, hotels.com, and many others.
For those of us on a budget, there are lots of options, too! My personal favorite is TrustedHousesitters. If you love animals, this is a great option. You can stay for free at someone’s home and take care of their pets while they are out of town.
There are also plenty of sharing sites that allow you to camp in someone’s yard for a small fee, rent an RV for less than $10 a day, or sleep on someone’s couch for free. A private room on Airbnb can still be an affordable option in some cases, and there are plenty of other interesting options like farm stays, monasteries, and capsule hotels.
Safety
By far, the most important part of travel for Aspies (or anyone, really) is safety. As Aspies, we have unique challenges. Doing everything you can to prevent meltdowns is key and this means being in tune with your body and remembering to pay attention for triggers. When it’s not possible to prevent a meltdown, there are still things you can do to improve the outcome.
Learn about the culture before you go, specifically how they view and understand autism. Store embassy and emergency numbers in your phone. If you have a meltdown, you may need to call someone for support. Carry a card or document that explains autism and has emergency contact numbers in case you become nonverbal and need someone to make a phone call on your behalf. Make sure you have copies in English and any other languages spoken in the countries where you will be traveling. I have had public meltdowns in countries that have no understanding of autism and I didn’t need these, but it’s good to be prepared.
These are the basics to start thinking about as you consider your next trip. Over the next year, I hope to interview and feature autism-friendly travel companies on the Autistic Travel Coach and make presentations to other travel companies on the importance of becoming autism friendly. I plan to feature more of this content in addition to the existing travel content.
I hope you will join me on this adventure and have plenty of your own, as well! If you would like to have a free 30-minute coaching call, or just chat, please contact me at AutisticTravelCoach@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you about what type of content you would like to see on the blog at https://autistictravelcoach.com
